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After the Affair, 3rd Edition
This new edition includes an Afterword in which the author answers patients’ troubling, often provocative questions regarding their affair recovery.
After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful
Infidelity is often the deathblow to a relationship. But it can also be a wake-up call, challenging couples to confront the issues that led to the affair and build a healthier, more intimate relationship than before. As a clinical psychologist who has been treating distressed couples for over 35 years, Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring has found that couples can survive infidelity, provided that both partners are willing to look honestly at themselves and at each other and acquire the skills they need to help themselves through such a shattering crisis.
After the Affair addresses crucial questions of both partners, including:
Why did the affair happen?
Once love and trust are gone, can they ever be rekindled?
How can I – or should I – recommit when I feel so ambivalent?
How do we get the affair-person out from between the two of us and become sexually intimate again?
What constitutes an affair in cyberspace?
Is forgiveness possible? Is it healthy?
For those who are going through the pain, confusion, and anger of an infidelity, After the Affair can help you cope with the raging emotions, make a thoughtful decision about your future, and, if you choose to recommit, reclaim a life together.
“We enter intimate relationships blindly, often effortlessly, swept up with passion and an idealized perception of our partner, often cocky about our ability to keep things hot. Most of us are totally unprepared for what lies ahead, and ignorant of what’s required to last the course…The affair shocks us into reality. Fortunately, it also invites us to try again.”
— from After the Affair
Praise for After the Affair, 3rd Edition
“Full of juicy, concrete advice to heal from an affair.”
- Esther Perel, MA, LMFT, author of Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs
“Dr. Spring possesses a remarkable combination of clarity, wisdom, spirit, and heart. This is an extremely helpful and healing book – a gift to us all.”
- Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger and Why Won’t You Apologize?
“This new, updated edition of After the Affair is a must for anyone going through an affair, recovering from betrayal, or working with a couple who needs advice. If you want your relationship to book, buy this book. Her wisdom applies to all of us.”
- Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., author of When You’re the One Who Cheats.